Tag: family
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I grew up spending a good deal of time with an older cousin of mine in Cullman, Alabama named Claude Basenburg. A hefty, hearty good ol’ boy in overalls, with a wad of tobacco in his cheek. So when I visit claude.ai I don’t think of an omniscient counselor, I just envision my cousin from…
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My daughter’s swim school has a (brown) bar connected to it that has panoramic windows looking into the pool. It’s not number one, but this is very high up on the list of “Most Dutch Thing Ever.”
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Corporate culture can just be a tool to match the needs of the moment.
The conclusion here is clear: the industry will want different things from you as it evolves, and it will tell you that each of those shifts is because of some complex moral change, but it’s pretty much always about business realities changing. If you take any current morality tale as true, then you’re setting yourself…
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”becoming a parent has forced me to prioritize predictability and comforts that are compatible with the routines and demands of a toddler.” When East Becomes West
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The difficulty level of children – ”It also runs the other direction. If you have two kids, and one kid is away (with a grandparent), it feels like having zero kids.”
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Parents’ Earnings and the Returns to Universal Pre-Kindergarten – “parents work more hours, and their earnings increase by 21.7%. Parents’ earnings gains persist for at least six years after the end of pre-kindergarten. Excluding impacts on children, each dollar of net government expenditure yields $5.51 in after-tax benefits for families”
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The finger-wagger is usually just me finger-wagging at myself
# A reminder that having fun is possible It’s hard finding fun – and especially joy – in life. Family is frequently just about getting through the every day grind and fighting to have some time to “hear myself thinking.” Even getting together with friends can seem like planning an all hands meeting. Beware of…
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Getting comfortable talking with people because of oysters, tipping and toilets, beach puddles
Family Trip All the family vacationing is done. With three kids, and one a two and half year old, the principal that a “vacation” is much different than a “family trip” is certainly true. On a family trip, you must take advantage of the ad hoc vacation as it presents itself. Kim and I found…
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IRL OKRs – Coté’s Commonplace Book – Issue #60
Family pets as OKRs in FY23. Executives to talk about getting better at software. Scroll to the end to see bacon frying. IRL OKRs New family member. Objective: enhance our comfort, peace of mind, and sense of comradely by owning a dog. Key Result: walk dog three times a day so that it does not…
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Be less reliable – Coté’s Commonplace Book – Issue #49
How I find time to make thumbnails for my enterprise videos. Sorry, I flaked The most operational self-help tactic I’ve learned in years is: get comfortably flaking out on things. Missing meetings, being late delivering things, being unreliable, skipping studying Dutch today (and tomorrow)…just failing at living up to your full potential. This thinking works…
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🗂 Link: How Couples Share “Cognitive Labor” and Why it Matters – Behavioral Scientist
When I sorted through the hundreds of examples that emerged, I found four primary activities appeared over and over: anticipating a need, identifying options for filling it, deciding among the options, and monitoring the results. Chelsea, for example, noticed her toddler waking up progressively earlier each morning and envisioned her hours of sleep dwindling (anticipation).…
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Link: The problem with being a long-term expat
Karen, a British citizen now in Malaysia, who prefers to be known only by her first name because her husband works for a large multinational, recalls their 22 years on the road became more difficult as their children got older. Both are now at university in the UK. Having never lived in Malaysia, they don’t…
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Coté’s Commonplace Book #43
There’s an insane block of travel coming up for me in October, and then Asia in November. Figuring out a “road warrior” job is difficult, and I’m constantly asking if that’s the life I want, away from family a lot. The perks – pay, seeing people and places, all the frequent traveler benefits, and also…
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Coté’s Commonplace Book – Issue #36
We move to Amsterdam in 5 days. We’re nearly done packing up our whole house. It’s surprisingly easy to just get rid of things, all things: clothes, kitchen stuff, furniture. People say this all the time and it’s true: you should get your house in shape for selling while you live there so you can…
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Link: The parent trap: can you be a good writer and a good parent?
“I had experienced being judged as a mother, when I periodically left my son with my husband from the age of six months – he is six now – to go away to write. I only departed for a week at a time. But who knows what I might have done had I lived in…
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Link: America’s bias against working moms comes down to one question: Do you value your female employees or not?
Based on a 2013 survey, but still, fucked up: “According to Pew, some 40% of Americans believe it is bad for society if women work, despite the fact that 40% of American households are supported by female breadwinners.” Original source: America’s bias against working moms comes down to one question: Do you value your female…
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Back at Dell, Docker Forking, Healthcare IT, & DevOps – Coté Memo #15
With summer over, there’s a new round of conferences, and my kids are back at school. My 6-year-old, Cormac, is starting 1st grade. We looked around at lot of schools for him and settled on the Lake Travis STEM Academy. I went to public school all my life – and a state college (I mean,…
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