American Christmas, part 3

American Christmas, part 3

  • Kids out and about in their pajamas.

  • “Help me remember that our full size mini-van is hidden behind this Suburban.”

  • Adults out and about in their pajamas.

  • “Here’s the check. No rush, though!”

  • Massive, high capacity washing machines that would fit a calf.

  • The cheap wine is still expensive.

  • Free electricity in AirBnBs.

  • 15 types of cauliflower frozen pizza.

  • “Please be respectful of our neighbors and the residents living above us. Please keep noise down after dark.”

  • Golf-cart security guard.

Also, see parts one and two.

Relative to your interests


  • The best is when you visit an old friend and your phone still has the WiFi password.

  • "freelancers’ liedowns. Here.

  • “I’ve eaten the burrito that tastes only of Wednesdays, all of your Wednesdays, all your loves that didn’t end because they didn’t begin, all your small midweek deaths.” Here.

  • “It’s just bald men. They’re going to be dead soon anyway.”

  • “This is a bad time to get mixed up in the uncanny, not that there’s ever a good time.” Here.

  • “We told you about the Japanese bathroom story, right?”

  • “Seasonal jute.”

  • “I said I’m gonna die with my boots on.”

  • “I retired two months ago, and I feel like a teenager!”

  • The Haunting of Hill House is a story about siblings. It’s the part of the story that I’m most fascinated by. I hope my kids have that kind of ongoing relationship.

  • Was it Arley who changed Nine Inch Nails “Terrible Lies” into “Terrible Fries,” or was that Weird Al?

  • “Look, people know that coffee makes you poop.” bdg.

  • “It’s me, Andrew Jackson!”


We’re going back to Amsterdam today. A holiday trip is never long enough: always book the extra days, with maybe just a day or two buffer to get situated back for real life.,, @cote,,