The kookie, nerd uncle

My 16-year-old cousin: I broke my phone.
Me: I will give you an iPhone 5s if you agree to one condition.
Young cousin: Deal.
Me: I’m also going to send you a three-pound bronze plaque that says “Donated by the world’s best uncle/cousin” and you need to superglue the phone to the plaque and carry both with you at all times.
Young cousin: That’s fine.

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