Doing the ‪@bobbrindley. (I asked for extra pickles. The clerk was confused. I asked again, even, “can I pay for them?” And the assistant manager type looked over his shoulder and said a firm “no.” I mean, I don’t want to fuck with McDonald’s global supply chain and bring down their whole ERP system, causing some kind of “unanticipated gherkin headwinds” on their quarterly call [“we took a q3 hit due to unexpected demands for extra toppings in the Netherlands. We can’t really blame the Benelux managers, they can always be trusted. We’ve hired PwC to investigate and we believe it’s the deliberate work of a rogue Texan. This person of interest ordered something they (we’re not sure how this individual self-identifies yet and I’d like to take this chance to remind you that we are committed to diversity!) termed ‘extra pickles.’ Due to our dedication to customer service, the staff on hand gave the individual five extra pickles. Rolled up to our EMEA and then global revenue for this quarter, this unexpected – and, frankly, bizarre – fulfillment of pickle satisfactuals has required us to adjust guidance for the quarter, sadly, downwards. We’ve notified local authorities and are cracking all US passports until this is solved. Now we’ll take the first question from Goldman…”] or anything…but…pickles?) From instagram

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