Review: Creep

I recently watched Creep, most notable for staring Franka Potent (man, was Run Lola Run really back in 1998? Crap!). The premise is that there’s some nutty monster running around in the London subways killing and eating people.

It’s heavy on gore, and has plenty of scary tunnel scenes. You know, where the camera is slowly tracking around a bending tunnel — well lit or not — and you’re all like, “shit! in just a millisecond something nasty is going to slide into frame!”

The set design — is that “production design” — is awesome, and the little short on the topic on the DVD is worth watching. The sort of story around it sort of nice, if left too open ended for my myth-loving self. It’s sort of like an urban version of Decent, but with one monster instead of a tribe. Oh, and as Kim said of the monster, “wait, is he wearing pants?”

The flippant disappointment was that they didn’t go with the Radio Head song. I didn’t even catch it playing in the background anywhere.

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Late Night IM Movie Making

Late night IM

Coté: Her and Courtney Love should do a Thelma and Louise meet Lethal Weapon mashup remake.
Coté: They can have a scene with Juliette Lewis where she starts yelling “One bar? Two bars?! What the fuck?! I can’t tell! They always fuck you with the pregnancy tests! They fuck you! They know you’re gonna be miles away, with piss all over your hands before you know you got fucked!”

(Thanks to wkh for the photo.)

Review: Masters of Horror

Life with Uncle Stankus

It’s no secret that I like horror movies. Kim likes to remind me that it was she who turned me on to them. (But, hey, come over here. I have a secret to tell you — don’t tell Kim! It was actually my dad. We used to watch USA Network’s UP ALL NIGHT WITH GILBERT GOTTFRIED! [he used to yell it all the time] and that’s when I started liked horror movies. OK, remember: don’t tell her!) And, indeed, it was!

Thanks to our friends over at — I mean NetFlix! Yeah! — I’ve had the chance to catch up with Masters of Horror. One of my local indie video shops, I Luv Video, carried episodes by the more famous directors, so I’ve had to dig up the rest myself. I’m almost done with the second season.

For the most part, unless your a horror fan, Masters of Horror ain’t much. Clearly, for me, they’re fun watching. Each episode is much like Amazing Stories (Masters of Horror creator Mick Garris used to work that circuit it seems) and other TV shows of horror, fantasy, and weirdness of the 80’s…except you get to see boobies! Thank God for Showtime.

But seriously, you also get to see mega-gore. I gotta tell ya, whatever team they have working on special effects here specialized in torrents of gussing blood, especially from the neck, or even a cat’s gorged out eye-ball. In the second season, there’s also at least two (Pelts and Right to Die) instances of people getting skinned — in one episode by their own hand!

For my money, the best one so far has been Stuart Gordon’sDreams in the Witch-House. I’m a fool for anything remotely Lovecraftian, so it was a shoe-in. Other good ones: Deer Woman (not, like, “great” but incredibly novel and fun), Cigarette Burns, The Fair Haired Child, Sick Girl (not only does it introduce Uncle Stankus Bourbon, but Lucky McKee’s fascination with goth-school-girls involved in horrific events is always fun to watch: sure, May was fun, but check out The Woods too), Pick Me Up, Haeckel’s Tale, The V Word (I was surprised I liked this one, but it the walk through the dark funeral home is creepy as shit), Pro-life (if there’s demons and menstrual gushers of white goo, I’m totally there!), and Dario Argento’s Pelts (best self-skinning ever filmed!).

Finally, don’t be fooled by the zombie headlines on Homcoming. Zombies don’t vote!

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