"Things to Do" from Robert Simmons

  • When you get in the elevator, and you start going up, close your eyes and pretend you’re Magneto.
  • When you reach into the Coke machine to get your Coke, pretend it’s like that scene in Flash Gordon
    with the lethal bug rock. Hopefully, you’ll choose the right hole.
  • When people are in the elevator, they like to lean up against it by putting their foot up against the wall.
    This leave foot-prints on the lower part of the elevator. Next time you’re in there alone, pop off your shoe
    and, BAAM!, put a foot-print way up near the ceiling.