34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.
42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.
67. Never ask a bartender “what’s good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.