More from the Jay Valanju "This is What the Internet Can Do for Us" File.

Check out this country talk from The Tullahoma News, byline “Crabby”:

“Well,” Chirac wanted to know, “how much does a brain cost? The doctor scratched his chin, glanced at Chirac and said “For a French brain, $500,000. For an American brain, $200,000.”

Now, Chirac didn’t know what tuh think ’bout thet. Archin’ an eyebrow he asked “Why the difference in price between French brains and American brains?”

“Standard pricing practice,” said the doctor, blowin’ into his stethoscope. “American brains have to be marked down because they’ve actually been used.”

I’ve long wondered where all the non-Supreme Court Republican votes come from. I think we got the honey-pot in Tullahoma.

It gets pretty good towards the end,

Crabbyism: The French still need more proof that Michael Jackson has had plastic surgery.

As Matt Ray said, “what the fuck is wrong with our country?”

Bacardi and Home Movies

“Hey, Brendon, how come the team never carried me off the field?”
“We tried, but you were too big.”
Excuse me?
“I mean…too drunk.”
“Yes. Yes I was. But, I’ll tell you something, Brendon, I am everyday. That doesn’t mean don’t carry me off the field.”

Abstraction and Detail:

I think another difference between us and the XP folks is that we value experience. We think your experience is a key component of your everyday work. It is perfectly valid to look at your experience and say, “The last time I did this I got bitten by this particular field changing 17 times, so this time I’m going to abstract it out into metadata.”

"Pee-pee breath!" (Home Movies):

“You know who ends up the looser, though, on the whole: the public. Because, they see the product, and the product is not there.”

“Brendon, Brendon. Women are a complicated bunch…. Lemme give you an analogy. They’re like grapes. That’s all I got…’cause I said grapes….”

“Here, have a drink.”
“Aren’t you gonna have some?”
“No, I had some earlier.

Check out this site.

META keywords for Whitehouse.gov

“social security, medicare, energy, tax relief, Education, policies, White House history, White House news, news, United States of America, 43rd President, George W., W., George W, President George W. Bush, President Bush, White House, government”

Usually, the old <META name=”keywords”/> HTML tag is used to describe what the page you’re looking at is about. Search engines (supposedly) use them for better indexing too. This META block may be old, but it’s interesting to see what keywords the White House associates itself with. Most of the Clinton Whitehouse.gov pages don’t seem to have the META tag.

WWW = No Lines

I just used Texas DPS’s on-line driver’s license renewal service. It’s so awesome! You just login, fill out your information, throw in your credit card number, and — WHAM-BAM! — they mail you your new drivers license in 25-30 days.

That right there — avoiding the fucking lines at the DPS — is just about the best way to use the web: making personal information processing less (almost completely non-) tedious.