The Poison Angle

My DVR went out tonight — it’s rebooting over and over, I swear to God, that TimeWarner equipment is out-right crap in a box — so I’m watching “Zane-TV” (that is, non-cable TV). Thankfully, for my entertainment, TBN has a local channel, so I can catch Hal Lindsey before The West Wing (which is a repeat).

Hal calmly narrates the news of the day, mostly about middle-east stuff, adding small editorials at the end of each story, right before the camera switches angles. On tonight’s UN Inspectors in Iraq update, he mentioned that some Iraqi scientist said he’d never leave Iraq, “he said he’d rather be a beggar at home, than a king abroad,” Hal said.

Then Hal added the kicker: could such loyalty be because Saddam is such a nice guy, and the scientist just digs the mustached one? Well, no, it’s because the scientist needs the anecdote to the poison that Saddam gives many of his scientists.

That’s right, Iraqi scientists are, according to Hal, set up like good old Thufir Hawat:

Oh Thufir, I see they’ve installed your heart plug already…. Don’t be angry. Everyone gets one here. But this is not why we’re here. We’ve brought you a little cat, Thufir. You must care for it if you wish to live. A poison has been introduced into you, Thufir Hawat. By milking this smooth little cat body each day you receive your antidote… it must be done each day….

So next time you think there’s nothin’ on, check out TBN: you might even catch the pink lady.

In a sort of interesting side note, check out the digital TV computer tuner card things in the TBN on-line store. What the hell are those there for?

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