Turd Ferguson…funny name

Turd Ferguson, it's a funny name

First off, good old Will Ferrell had his last episode of SNL this week. Ain’t that a damn shame?


Dude, so I was all excited tonight to see The Simpson’s. I cut
my quest for a Stendhal book I’d seen in Houston — settling on a Penguin
Classics paperback of
Love instead — in hopes of
getting back in time to see the show at 7PM. Instead, the last X Files
episode was on, and all I have to say about that is, “Is that all?”

I haven’t watched the X-Files for, well, about 2-3 years. Ever since
that dude from The Terminator got on the show it seemed kind of
blah to me. I’ve always been fascinated with the show, if only to figure out
what the hell was going on.

In this last episode we learn, largely through court testimony, that the
whole deal was composed of:

  • Planet-smegma from Mars landed on Earth some time ago and deposited
    the goo that became humans.
  • There was some sentient virus that accompanied this planet-smegma,
    which quickly infected some of the humans and evolved them into something else, which died some time ago.
  • The virus lies dormant for all the geological ages, humans live on,
    blah blah…
  • Now-a-days, The Aliens (who’re The Virus?) start conspiring with
    some secret government conspiracy to take over Earth.
  • This government conspiracy is working on some vaccination against
    The Virus, which they want to “selfishly” use.
  • WHAO! The Aliens don’t like malachite!
  • Mulder fucks shit up for the past 8 years!
  • Cancer Man, with a crazy hippie hair-cut, tells us that
    The Alien invasion is sometime in 2012.

That’s it, dude: show over. Which leaves us with the eternal question,
“Uh…what?…dude?” I mean, Alien invasion in 2012? Is that all
we get after 9 years? Does this mean we’ll have another X-Files
Series, e.g., “The X-Files: 2012!”?


In other news, after a week’s vacation in Houston, and my first week at my new job, I finally paid attention to the news again. There’s a big brew-ha-ha about Bush having been briefed that there was a terrorist threat around the time of the old 9/11.

While there’s already an extremely good “rebuttal” to all this brew-ha-ha, I’d like to say a little something. I’m sure the President gets briefed on dozens, if not more, potential threats to American every week, if not daily. Furthermore, I’m sure it’s physically impossible to address all of them.

Now, though I may be a red-blooded Texan, I’m about as far from a Bush fan as Nader probably is: though my feeling is almost completely groundless, I’m sure he’s grossly under qualified, getting into office through sheer “reputation” as a Bush, instead of through merit as a statesman. In short, I’m a Texan from the Ann Richards Clan, not of the Bush Clan. (Never mind the lobbying crap old Ann is doing now-a-days: I’m just happy she stuck to her guns, so to speak, on gun control instead of doing what would assure her re-election.)

With that said…I watched old Dick “I made my mill-e-ons from selling Oil to Iraq” Chaney, this morning on Meet the Press and I agreed with almost everything he said about this whole “Bush Knew” crap: to wit, “we get told all kinds of things, and we do everything that we can, but sometimes, shit just happens.”


In other news, I’m watching CNN — what other channel would I be watching in the background, dear reader? — and I see that David Caruso is gonna be back where he belongs: playing a cop on TV.

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