Evenin’ at the Car Show

We start with JP showing us the all leather interior of some Mercedes-benz, “Look Coté, even the
dash board is all leather!” Note the un-hairy area around my ears.

“This recesion is
a paper-tiger! Bring on the wine, women, and thong!”

Note that I am not picking my nose, but scratching it.

“All you need is a few generals, a couple lieutenants in this thing, and you got yourself a war goin’.”

The Cadillac DeVille. YUH!

The Honda Passport: zippy!

The Rodeo: same damn thing as the Passport.

The Nissan Xterra: comes with bike and canoe

The Gas-Guzzlin’ Beauty

The Kinman Collection

Miss. Kim queires “the worldly Coté” about Alison’s Pants Cam:

kim: Cote’, you still haven’t explained that girl’s belt.
M. Ray
says your “worldly”
now show me the light!

bushwald: Clearly, she has an old men’s formal dress belt.

bushwald: The belt is also 1-2 sizes too big for her.

kims: Don’t you notice anything strange about it?

bushwald: No…except that’s it’s long.

kim: Like maybe that she is wearing it up on her stomach and not
in her pants.

kim: Who wears a belt that and doesn’t put it through the

bushwald: Well, I guess the belt is to hold up the camera and not the
pants. Thus, as the camera is to be held against her flesh, it’s
strapped onto her stomic.

kim: I haven’t seen that since Madonna’s “like A Virgin Video”

bushwald: “A camera in pants for the very first tiiime!”

kim: Who the hell does she think she’s trying to be? . . . a

kim: OOOOoohh, yeah, that makes sense

kim: Sorry for my little pghtky there

bushwald: It’s just geek-humor. ;>

Excerpt from chapter 3 of my unpublished MS Patterns of Office
Talk in Texas

When the weather changes, especially here in Austin, the pattern of
“it’s cold” vs. “it’s not cold” emerges like clock work. When the
first drop below 50 happens, along with the usual flurry of cold
drizzle, native Texans stumble into the office all wrapped up in
jackets and scarves and proclaim, “I hate this cold weather.”

The out-of-staters swivel in their chairs and quickly say, “It’s
not cold! It’s warm.” And thus begins a re-hashing of the basic
pattern of conversation I call “It’s Cold/It’s not cold”:

  1. Texan asserts it’s cold
  2. Non-Texas, from a non-Southern state, proclaims
    that in fact, this is not cold compared to the banks of
    snow and below freezing weather they grew up with
    up in Yankee-land, The Rockies, or other non-California
    or non-Texas state.
  3. Texan asserts that, in fact, s/he is very cold and
    hates this weather.
  4. One of the interlocutor realized that each has their own
    perspective on what it means to be cold, esp. in relation
    to where the person grows up.
  5. The realization is stated aloud.
  6. Both agree, and move onto other topics.

This basic template of relativism can also, and is often, applied to
the topic, “These Texans can’t drive on ice!” also known as the
“I don’t fear icey roads, I fear other people on icey roads.