MoosePoop: Motivating Software Artists
Another fine moose-poop (that I finally got around to reading):

Ship their work. What infuriates software developers more than
anything? If their work doesn’t ship. I’ve watched wave after wave of
programmers switch jobs after a project gets killed by some marketing
dweeb with his face in a spreadsheet.

This topic is kind of cliché, but The Moose freshens it up plenty…and uses the phrase “smoke dope.”

Tomorrow is the first, which means seveal things:

  1. Rent is due for new, fantastic apartment over on Hemphill Park
  2. My lady, Kim, is moving to Houston
  3. I’m on a 3 day vacation
  4. Rumored dooms-day at my old, once beloved company, “FuckedXpress”:

    with the dreaded Aug. 1 looming, any word/rumours from inside the “compound” regarding
    what (if anything) is happening? Will our beloved FXProud be shown the door? Tune in
    tomorrow . . .[FXHFSC]

Well, where-ever or who-ever you are, have a good first yourself.

FXHFSC
Someone finally found and posted an old copy of the John Burns Memoirs, Future Day. We all loved this when it first came out, so it’s great to read again….and again…

Last week I sent out a copy of Chapter 1 of the FX story (which is in

Episode 3 of my life’s story). I had a ton of comments from many of you so

let me let you in on a little secret. I started my life’s book awhile ago,

which is titled “Future Day”…

. . .

When we finally got to Albuquerque, I was relieved to find another business

guy like me, a guy called Steve Jobs. He was a very interesting person and

liked to party a lot….I told him of my degree in Finance, and how I could raise money in

my sleep. Steve and I hatched a strategy to develop an entire industry

around a device that he called a “Personal Computer” (some industry – it

consisted of only about 20 people at the time, but Steve was always a big

thinker). He and I were like matches and gasoline.

And it just keep delivering.

Talking Moose : Moose Sales Strategy
Man…I hate sales…

Sales isn’t about you. It’s about the person you’re selling to and what they want and need.

So, how do you know the right questions to ask? Well, you gotta know the choices available on the marketplace. All of
them. Then, you gotta put yourself into other people’s shoes. Consider what might make them choose one choice
over another.

. . .

You can make certain choices seem better than others by adding in a discount, or pointing out that that choice has a
certain new feature (velcro) that might make their experience using the product easier.

Note: this isn’t lying. It’s changing the customer’s expectations and mental model to match the choices you want them
to make. Push them too far off of their mental model, and you’ll lose the sale.

“Managing expectations” isn’t lying, per say, but it is distraction from truth. If you, a sales guy, has a warehouse full of crap that you need to move and you “manage” a customer’s
“exepectation” sell that product, you’re preying upon them. The customer’s “expectation” was to come in and get some product, not to help you correct your stocking errors.

I’m a firm beliver that a sales person’s job is as a match-maker to fit a customer to a product, not not the other way around. For example, it’s often — if not always — the case that a sales person tries to “manage expectations” to get a person to buy a product they didn’t “know” they needed, instead of finding the people who need, and want, to the product in the first place.

The modus operandi of sales people seems to go find the rubes who’ll be convienced that they need their product; and then there’s that little chuckle to themselves as they leave the building, that little wink to P.T. Barnum.

The notion of posting by name on FuckedCompany seems a little wrong, but I figured the little joke I made was harmless enough.

And there’s a wonderful song posted by some super-creative guy, quoted in it’s entirety here:

The Internet Banking Hillbillies
The Internet Banking Hillbillies (sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies) well, let me tell the story about a man named Burns with a body like a pear and a face real stern come one day he was sittin in UT when he got the bright notion to invent the PC! with Jobs that is...Bill Gates, and Steve Allen well good ole-Burns, he’s not a geek by trade thinks he’s much smarter cuz he finances all day! so he lends Gates some money and tells em all beware, “cuz someday I’ll be bankrupt and you’ll be a billionaire” windows that is...Operatin’ Systems now Burns is a hankerin’ for his piece o’ the pie, he went to the banks and the BS sure did fly, he said, “e-wallet is the place we want to be” so he gave em all a pipe dream in return for money! moholah.that is..greenbacks and cabbage with all the money oh the things Burns bought Boxsters, and jet planes...millions sure do buy a lot! and the extravagance was impressive and quite a sight to see like a CD spinning nippler at the CMG! 2000...not 2001...jackass by now the troops were getting restless and investors were a screaming “Burns where’s our money? Pissin it away is not what we were meanin!” so he thumped his head real hard and said, “Ya-hoo!” “Another web portal is what we must do!” Portana...yesterday’s news “Cuz the internet banking is not enough for you! you need little league scores and local weather too! and best of all...we’ll give it away for free! cuz will get kickbacks when you buy Mercedes!” online, that is...like all car buyers do the investors thought that this was just grand they claimed Burns was the “King of Banking Land” little did they notice, and little did they see that there was no clear plan for profitability! 65 million users of Portana...pipe dream So here we are now in the middle of this mess. the Party Barn’s gone and the staff is just a wreck but despite all the layoffs and people that will go no ones repossessin’ the Winne-ba-go! or the Boxster that is...Statue neither.